Victorians Flirting... In the Personals?

Victorians Flirting… In the Personals?

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Flirting in Very Poor Taste

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In the broadest sense of the term, flirtations were considered ill-mannered in Victorian America. Well-bred young ladies wouldn’t dream of flirting as their quality shone through demure behavior, gracious reception of callers, and calm dispositions.

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Nineteenth century books, magazine articles, and newspaper columns warned against flirting:

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Flirting on a Steamboat

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The practice of some young girls just entering into womanhood, of flirting with any young man they may chance to meet, either in a railway car or on a steamboat, indicates low-breeding in the extreme. If, however, the journey is long, and especially if it be on a steamboat, a certain sociability may be allowed, and a married lady or a lady of middle age may use her privileges to make the journey an enjoyable one, for fellow-passengers should always be sociable to one another. (1882)

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~ Manners and Morals of Victorian America

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These pervasive attitudes and social expectations about proper behavior may well have brought about the phenomena of carrying on a flirtation in the personals column of the newspapers. The following section are newspaper clippings wherein ladies ask to meet a gentleman they encountered on the street. Another wishes to reconnect with an old friend they happened to see on a streetcar. One, using only initials, invites another for a clandestine meeting. Due to the secretive nature, Mother (and/or Maiden Auntie) couldn’t see the inappropriate behavior, thus no fit.

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Flirtation in the Personals

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It shouldn’t be surprising that flirtatious personals appear in large city newspapers, and not in small locales. I searched. Even moderate-sized cities didn’t dally with this trend. Note that these flirtations, connections, and ‘private’ correspondence are found in newspapers from Cincinnati, San Francisco, Baltimore, and St. Louis. Cities that size could easily present circumstances in which a couple could carry on a masked correspondence on the personals page without Mother learning of it. Plus, a young man may genuinely not know how to locate a young woman who caught his eye. After all, he couldn’t walk into the corner grocer, describe the girl, and learn who she might be.

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WANTED! The Cincinnati Enquirer of Cincinnati, Ohio on November 16, 1871.

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Kristin Holt | Victorians Flirting... In the Personals?. WANTED! WANTED: Lady on Streetcar. The Cincinnati Enquirer of Cincinnati, Ohio, on February 13, 1872.

WANTED: Young Lady on Streetcar. The Cincinnati Enquirer of Cincinnati, Ohio, on February 13, 1872.

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Kristin Holt | Victorians Flirting... In the Personals? Recognize old friend? San Francisco Chronicle of San Francisco, California, on September 16, 1872.

Recognize old friend? San Francisco Chronicle of San Francisco, California, on September 16, 1872.

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WILL THE LADY “accompanied by a Little Boy,” allow the Gentleman whom she passed on the corner of Lexington and Eutaw streets an interview. Address GEO.S. Sun office.

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~ The Baltimore Sun of Baltimore, Maryland on January 6, 1875.

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PERSONAL–WANTED–The young lady who stopped on Eighth street and read a letter, and then entered the house on the corner of Eighth and W., to oblige the party noticing her by addressing CHARLEY BELL, this office.

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~ The Cincinnati Enquirer of Cincinnati, Ohio, on January 8, 1875.

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The Cincinnati Enquirer of Cincinnati, Ohio, on February 1, 1875.

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St. Louis Post-Dispatch of St. Louis, Missouri, on November 14, 1885.

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Private Communication in Personals

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PERSONAL–WANTED–J.B. and C.W., who advertised Monday for me to address them, to leave a letter at this office this morning stating particulars to receive attention. F.L.S. Or address F.L.S., Box 20, Wilmington, O.

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~ The Cincinnati Enquirer of Cincinnati, Ohio, on January 8, 1875

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